I don’t have the tenacity for argument. I just walk away. Not because I can’t fight back, but because I easily get drained from arguing.
Once I give my piece, that’s that. Take it or leave it. No need for arguments or negotiations.
When me and my girl friends compare notes, it’s amazing that they can keep up with their arguments with their significant others.
For me: I literally get physically exhausted.
I was once in a relationship where arguments were a common thing. Though I loved his quick mind, humor, intense passion and intelligence, I felt that every time we argued I loved him less and less. I felt like we were in competition. It drained me. Our arguments became a power struggle of who would have the last say on things (talk about intense passion).
Clearly, I wasn’t the person for him and him for me.
But I am thankful, immensely thankful for having met such a person. As corny as it sounds, he changed my life.
He constantly challenged, grinded and prodded me to be better. He never once doubted my abilities. You’ll never get a better boyfriend than that. But our time was up. People come into our lives for a reason, and judging by what happened, his purpose in my life was already fulfilled. It was time to let go.
It’s funny how things turn out: I remember the individuals who pushed me the hardest. Despite the dysfunctional dynamic of it all, it is people like him who leave the most lasting impression.
What would make me submit to a man again, I will never know. I haven’t fully figured out that department yet. But what I did learn though is that commitments are a labor of love and personally, I don’t think I am ready to give all these up for another person just yet.
Despite the unfortunate ending to my love story, I have learned to roll with the punches. No more expectations, no more draining arguments, no more guilt trips, no more shouting matches, no more competition. Now, it’s just me being me.
And after such a long time, I am at peace.