I just came from a seminar earlier and wondered how appropriate my line of work was and how perfect it was to be used in practical things such as dating!
Yes, you read it right: dating.
Just recently, I was invited by two gentlemen for dinner. Both single and eligible bachelors.
Being unattached and with no real ‘responsibilities’, the invitations were a no-brainer for me. However, as my week progressed, both of them cancelled for one very understandable reason: work.
I just can’t help but laugh at the irony.
The irony here is that I have dated and have had so many relationships in the past that it would only be reasonable that I have men figured out by now and the dating scene as well. Boy, was I wrong!
From the Christian perspective, it just dawned on me that I am a complete noob when it comes to dating! How funny is that!
In the seminar, the person I was seated next to was a husband and father of two. While on the way home, I had the pleasure of talking to a single, 27 y/o male friend. For fun, I intereviewed them on the topic of dating.
(Take note: I get both the experience and wisdom of a Christian husband and father while at the same time, the input of a single guy on his own road to finding real love.)
This is the best interview I’ve ever had in my journalism career 😉
Miss Tolentino: What makes you want to date a woman?
Happily Married Guy: When you do ‘prospecting’ (a term in insurance we financial nuts use), I really need to know her background. When I first started dating my wife, I really had to meet her family. I wanted to see for myself what kind of a daughter and sister she was. If there was trouble at home, etc. I needed to know that. Her family life was important to me.
Miss Tolentino: How do you know if the guy is interested in you in the long term?
Happily Married Guy: You will know if the person is sincere when his intentions are clean. He wants to get to know you first. Which is why I needed to find out who she was at home. I needed to meet her folks. Also, the man should never resort to anything physical because that will mess things up. The same goes with the ladies.
Miss Tolentino: What if a guy who invited and planned your date cancelled it (for whatever reason)? Should I take him seriously next time?
Happily Single Guy: Give him the benefit of the doubt. He may be going through something personal. It’s highly unlikely that a man who invited the woman will cancel. The girl, yes. But the guy? I don’t think so. There must be a very good reason why. Don’t jump to any conclusions just yet.
Miss Tolentino: How do you handle break-ups?
Happily Single Guy: It’s easy to just call your friends, go to a club, have drinks and hit on girls. This time in my life it was going to be different. My ex-girlfriend told me that she never felt we were growing as a couple. So I deliberately attended self-development programs and activities. I attended toast masters, bible study, volunteered, etc. I wanted to be productive. I wanted to prove to her (and myself) that I was serious about ‘growing’. (But ofcourse, later did I know that her dumping me was not my fault at all. She was seeing other guys on the side.)
Miss Tolentino: That must have been a blow.
Happily Single Guy: I was supposed to propose to her on year 3 of our 4 year relationship. I prayed to God that if nothing goes wrong, I would propose. But it happened. I guess it was a blessing that it happened. Otherwise I would have to live with that kind of baggage. She cheated on me twice. You are who you are. The problem was never with me all along, although that’s what she made me feel most of the time.
Miss Tolentino: What is going on with her now?
Happily Single Guy: She’s still the same person, unfortunately. “You are who you are”. When we get the chance to talk, I don’t ask about personal things (who she’s seeing, etc.). It’s none of my business, the same thing she has no business in mine.
Miss Tolentino: How are you now?
Happily Single Guy: I have forgiven her. I don’t know why forgiveness was so easy, but it was.
Miss Tolentino: Do you like anyone at the moment?
Happily Single Guy: As a matter of fact, I do. But I am carefully taking my time on this one. I’ve asked her the hard questions (her faith, etc.) and so far, she’s doing okay in that area. However, she’s a bit of a fan girl. She has so many friends on social networks, its crazy. She flirts and messages celebrities through her twitter account. But I’m taking it in stride. It could be a phase, I don’t know. Which is why
I haven’t asked her out yet. I’m still enjoying our friendship. If the time comes that I ask anybody out, could be her or not, that will be the defining moment.
Miss Tolentino: What qualities are you looking for in a woman?
Happily Single Guy: She has to be her own person. Her own woman. She is complete and happy on her own. Getting a good-looking and financially secure partner is just a bonus. The only thing she will be looking for in a potential partner is loyalty, that’s it.