Tomorrow I will be leaving with a friend for a hiking trip.
It will be a first for me and I am nervous to the core. I have to admit, I am not much of an “outdoor person”. When I say “outdoor”, I mean camping/hiking/mountain trekking. Though I thrive on biking, running, and swimming; mountain trekking and camping, to put it subtly, is not my cup of tea.
I did camping once in high school and I never did it again. I couldn’t sleep because of the mosquitoes, the uncomfortable little rocks hitting my back when I slept, and the bad food. I remember vividly that we had to cook a crudely opened can of corned beef that was supposed to suffice as dinner! We also had to share a commode which was not exactly the best experience for a cleanliness obsessed young girl. I hated camping and I still secretly do. It brought back memories of aching joints, holding back pee, and morning breath.
But there were other ways of entertaining oneself, and camping, thankfully, was just a shadow of the past (or so I thought). I prefer the leisurely and comfortable way of seeing the world: Hotels, concrete itineraries, warm beds, nice showers, a functioning toilet, creature comforts — things that camping or hiking will never offer.
So why the change of heart? It got me thinking that maybe I am not fully embracing God‘s abundant provisions in my life because I am constantly stopping or limiting myself. To add more to this enlightenment, I got this in my email today – “God has no shortage of resources. In terms of receiving God’s provision, I sometimes have to remind myself to expect the unexpected.”
To expect the unexpected. I didn’t like it one bit. Obviously, I am not a fan of surprises. I like routine, structure, plans, and ofcourse, my delicious addiction – a sense of being in control.
Just a little after Christmas, I reminded myself to make a 2014 plan. What I wanted to achieve in the year to come on a per month and per quarter basis (told you I was a freak).When I pulled out my excel sheet, I just stared at it. I didn’t have anything substantial to put in. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t have a plan. What is wrong with me? (Must be the chicken from Christmas eve dinner).
Usually, when I do my planning, numbers was a great way to start. Putting in actual figures gave a sense of control, of targets, of something achievable. But now my brain drew blanks.
Don’t get me wrong, the year 2013 was a great year for me. My annual planning was effective, but I didn’t achieve everything to the letter. And the best parts of my year was thanks to the little unexpected surprises that sneaked their way in. Odd isn’t it?
This year, I am going to do something radical. For 2014, it’s going to be different: I will not lead me, the Lord will. I am letting Jesus Christ take the reins from here on. Whatever His will, I will accept it, and be thankful for them regardless of the circumstances. No more of me. This time, this year, He will be in control. The question is: do I have the courage to fully embrace it?
It may be a tall order for an obsessive-compulsive, controlling, neat freak such as myself but with God’s grace, it’s a humble start. I am offering all my plans, hopes and dreams to Him because He promised that if I trust and obey, He will follow through. For this year, I will brazenly challenge that promise. I know the Lord will forgive me for going this extreme in my faith but I don’t think He’ll mind. I am, after all, His child.
And this is in great hopes that my trip will be the first of many adventures to a new and improved Miss Tolentino for 2014.
Have a wonderful New Year everyone!