Category Archives: Beauty

Crowns and Cows

Women who try so hard to earn their place through showing loyalty and working for free… Oftentimes, having to return sexual favors, co-habit or earn a man’s trust before he will actually marry her. Or sometimes, in the work place, to render more hours or wear numerous hats just because she can…

As a woman, one can bring so much to the table: the strength of her feminity, interpersonal skills and eye for detail are just some of what she can contribute, an educated and enterprising woman, more so! The skill set, years of experience and the value of their network is something most women take for granted.

I would have to agree to some some associates who brazenly stated: “Why pay for the cow if I get the milk for free?”

Harsh, yes. But there is truth to that statement.

Women get to be marginalized, their values compromised because they conciously choose to. They let these things happen because inately are desperate for approval, friendship, commitment, loyalty, and yes, the all enduring word…love.

There is this agony to make a significance in her work, the life of her partner, children… so that in the end, she won’t be shelved/discarded/abandoned because her worth and value have been proven, established…

All at a painful price: Her youth, her beauty, her years, her life. She is destined to live her life centered around her partner, her children, her work…because without them, she’s non-existent. Worthless. Invisible.

Notice that there are more and more women who find holding the “Busy badge” as some sort of trophy, or in this case, validation for saying: “I’m such a busy wife/mother/professional/business owner/etc… all of this, is all me. Finally, I am worth while.”

Busy doesn’t necessarily equate to productive nor significant.

“Busy” also begs the question: Where do you find your worth? Do you find your self-worth in the temporary? You can be doing multiple things all at the same time, you can be productive, sure. Hats off to you. But what if all of these are gone? What if you lost your work, heaven forbid, your spouse, children, family? What would you have as a woman? When all of these things gone, does your identity go with it?

Nothing is farther from the truth.

A woman doesn’t have to compromise who she is. She doesn’t have to replace her identity with the identity of her profession or relationships. She doesn’t have to “strive”. A woman was created by our Loving Father to “just be”. His grand design is for her to be the “crown”. Woman is His beauty incarnate. Diamonds need not force its beauty to someone who can’t see it.

The same principle applies to male-female relationships. A good man would be the one to do the pursuing. Allow him to ‘man up’ to the role. Just be. Unfortunately today, that role is reversed at very unhealthy consequences.

He will compromise your values, use you sexually/physically, emotionally/psychologically, (even financially…lucky guy!) and, as an afterthought, would probably marry you because, like a good girl, you’ve “earned it” (and besides, he needs someone who can look after him/his business/his children/his interests, his, his, his, his…etc. long after he’s gone. You’ve done it for free from the beginning, why should he start paying now? Insert cow reference here.)

The woman was his investment. He knows this. She just didn’t get full price for her “investment value”.

Can he be blamed? Not at all. Everything boils down to the woman.

In this world, a woman needs to earn her place, may it be a corporate title, or a place in a relationship. And even if she earned it, she still has to constantly prove she’s worth all that she’s striven for. She isn’t supposed to be pursued. She is commodity. Replaceable. Disposable.

So much for the grand design.

Advertisements

To Forgive is to Give

As the saying goes, we cannot choose our family.

Loving and giving are Christmas components. Although we say that everyday should be Christmas, it is never easy to be loving and giving especially to individuals who continue to push the wrong buttons, rub us the wrong way or have a whole different value system compared to ours.

But sometimes, we fail to realize that if they are a work in progress, so are we! It is really a (physical) conscious effort on our end to embrace diversity, and be loving (and forgiving) particularly to people we don’t see eye to eye with.

To fore-give is to give grace ahead of time and grace undeserved, hence forgiving is giving: forgiving a parent, forgiving a sibling, forgiving a spouse, forgiving a friend, and even the grace of forgiving one’s self.

We may not have the ability of choosing our parents, family or present circumstances, but we have the ability of choosing forgiveness either of past pain or of future hurts, simply because we value the person more. Despite the many flaws of the relationship, we value the hidden heart of the person.

This may be the last Christmas I will be spending with my grandmother before I loose her completely to Alzheimer’s disease but I am thankful that I got to see her in her prime and had the opportunity to see the person she has become: a gentle, kind and happy soul who has never failed to smile at life’s setbacks while embracing with open arms her severely flawed children and grandchildren. The ability to fore-give and be gentle is courage in itself. My grandmother is the warrior woman personified.

As we hold our breaths in anticipation and celebrate another Christmas with ‘strangers’ we can barely stand, it is the mere act of forgiveness that makes us ‘family’.

Thank you Grammy for teaching me this not through words, but through your life.

Have a Merry Christmas everyone!

Broadway Hit Chicago Comes to Manila!

“Sexy, Slick, Sharp and Sophisticated”, the longest running American musical on Broadway, “Chicago” comes to Manila! Running from December 3 to 21 2014, for only 23 performances  with no possible extension, the Gala Premiere of the show also marks the grand opening of the country’s newest theatrical luxury hotspot – Entertainment City’s very own, Solaire Resorts and Casino’s The Theatre.

The gleaming 1760-seat theater has been specially constructed to house the big Broadway and West End shows, in recognition of the Filipino appetite for musical theatre, and firmly placing Manila on the international touring circuit.

Honored with 6 Tony® awards, 2 Olivier® awards, a Grammy® and thousands of standing ovations…It is no surprise that Chicago has wowed audiences all around the world, from Mexico to Moscow, from Sáu Paulo to South Africa, and now, The Philippines!

Visit http://www.CHICAGOTheMusical.com for more information. Tickets are on sale through TicketWorld. Call 891-9999 or visit http://www.ticketworld.com.ph.

Angel’s Share: The 14th Grand Wine Experience Happening at Resorts World Manila

RESORTS WORLD MANILA hosts 14th Grand Wine Experience

On November 14, 2014 (Friday), Resorts World Manila (RWM), together with the Philippine Wine Merchants (PWM) is set to host the 14th Grand Wine Experience at the Ballroom of Marriott Hotel Manila, coinciding with the launch of RWM’s Grand Fiesta Manila 2014 Celebrations.

Entitled "Angel's Share", the event offers attendees a taste of over 500 supernal wines and spirits paired with a glorious buffet. The annual Grand Wine Experience is known to celebrate the ARTISTRY, SCIENCE and CULTURE of wine. This year the event focuses on the MAGIC, and DIVINITY of wine, as well as other worldly pleasures of unparalleled excellence. 
Entitled “Angel’s Share”, the event offers attendees a taste of over 500 supernal wines and spirits paired with a glorious buffet. The annual Grand Wine Experience is known to celebrate the ARTISTRY, SCIENCE and CULTURE of wine. This year the event focuses on the MAGIC, and DIVINITY of wine, as well as other worldly pleasures of unparalleled excellence.

Presented by Philippine Wine Merchants and Ralphs Wines and Spirits; co-presented by Rustans Supermarket, Starbucks Coffee, Store Specialist Inc., Marriott Hotel Manila, Resorts World Manila, Future Trade International, Diageo Philippines, Moet-Hennessy Philippines, Premier Wine and Spirits, Barcino Corporation, Fly Ace Corporation, Bel Mondo Italia, Corp., Emperador Distillers, Aviver International, Best World Beverage Brands, Golden Wines, Grand Cru and Booze On Line.

For more information about this event, please visit http://www.rwmanila.com, or call the Tourist/Visitor Hotline (632) 908-8833.

You can also find them on Facebook facebook.com/Resorts World Manila and twitter @rwmanila

MissTolentino supports the HeforShe Movement

I was so moved with Emma Watson’s speech. I agree with her on so many points and I would like to share the full transcript of her speech with each and everyone of you.

I have also disliked the term “feminist” as it denoted an anger against men. I highly value men and boys, but society (and distorted views on gender differences) dictate that feminism should be on an aggressive and hating stance. It need not be. It’s time to break free from this stigma.

We don’t often talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes, but I can see that they are, and that when they are free, things will change for women as a natural consequence…

I want men to take up this mantle so that their daughters, sisters, and mothers can be free from prejudice, but also so that their sons have permission to be vulnerable and human too, reclaim those parts of themselves they abandoned, and in doing so, be a more true and complete version of themselves. 

Attention Woman! Men are also our partners in achieving this freedom.

Brava Miss Watson!
***

Today we are launching a campaign called for HeForShe. I am reaching out to you because we need your help. We want to end gender inequality, and to do this, we need everyone involved. This is the first campaign of its kind at the UN. We want to try to mobilize as many men and boys as possible to be advocates for change. And, we don’t just want to talk about it. We want to try and make sure that it’s tangible.

I was appointed as Goodwill Ambassador for UN Women six months ago. And, the more I spoke about feminism, the more I realized that fighting for women’s rights has too often become synonymous with man-hating. If there is one thing I know for certain, it is that this has to stop.

For the record, feminism by definition is the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. It is the theory of political, economic and social equality of the sexes.

I started questioning gender-based assumptions a long time ago. When I was 8, I was confused for being called bossy because I wanted to direct the plays that we would put on for our parents, but the boys were not. When at 14, I started to be sexualized by certain elements of the media. When at 15, my girlfriends started dropping out of sports teams because they didn’t want to appear muscly. When at 18, my male friends were unable to express their feelings.

I decided that I was a feminist, and this seemed uncomplicated to me. But my recent research has shown me that feminism has become an unpopular word. Women are choosing not to identify as feminists. Apparently, I’m among the ranks of women whose expressions are seen as too strong, too aggressive, isolating, and anti-men. Unattractive, even.

Why has the word become such an uncomfortable one? I am from Britain, and I think it is right I am paid the same as my male counterparts. I think it is right that I should be able to make decisions about my own body. I think it is right that women be involved on my behalf in the policies and decisions that will affect my life. I think it is right that socially, I am afforded the same respect as men.

But sadly, I can say that there is no one country in the world where all women can expect to see these rights. No country in the world can yet say that they achieved gender equality. These rights, I consider to be human rights, but I am one of the lucky ones.

My life is a sheer privilege because my parents didn’t love me less because I was born a daughter. My school did not limit me because I was a girl. My mentors didn’t assume that I would go less far because I might give birth to a child one day. These influences were the gender equality ambassadors that made me who I am today. They may not know it, but they are the inadvertent feminists that are changing the world today. We need more of those.

And if you still hate the word, it is not the word that is important. It’s the idea and the ambition behind it, because not all women have received the same rights I have. In fact, statistically, very few have.

In 1997, Hillary Clinton made a famous speech in Beijing about women’s rights. Sadly, many of the things that she wanted to change are still true today. But what stood out for me the most was that less than thirty percent of the audience were male. How can we effect change in the world when only half of it is invited or feel welcome to participate in the conversation?

Men, I would like to take this opportunity to extend your formal invitation. Gender equality is your issue, too. Because to date, I’ve seen my father’s role as a parent being valued less by society, despite my need of his presence as a child, as much as my mother’s. I’ve seen young men suffering from mental illness, unable to ask for help for fear it would make them less of a man. In fact, in the UK, suicide is the biggest killer of men between 20 to 49, eclipsing road accidents, cancer and coronary heart disease. I’ve seen men made fragile and insecure by a distorted sense of what constitutes male success. Men don’t have the benefits of equality, either.

We don’t often talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes, but I can see that they are, and that when they are free, things will change for women as a natural consequence. If men don’t have to be aggressive in order to be accepted, women won’t feel compelled to be submissive. If men don’t have to control, women won’t have to be controlled.

Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong. It is time that we all perceive gender on a spectrum, instead of two sets of opposing ideals. If we stop defining each other by what we are not, and start defining ourselves by who we are, we can all be freer, and this is what HeForShe is about. It’s about freedom.

I want men to take up this mantle so that their daughters, sisters, and mothers can be free from prejudice, but also so that their sons have permission to be vulnerable and human too, reclaim those parts of themselves they abandoned, and in doing so, be a more true and complete version of themselves.

You might be thinking, “Who is this Harry Potter girl, and what is she doing speaking at the UN?” And, it’s a really good question. I’ve been asking myself the same thing.

All I know is that I care about this problem, and I want to make it better. And, having seen what I’ve seen, and given the chance, I feel it is my responsibility to say something.

Statesman Edmund Burke said, “All that is needed for the forces of evil to triumph is for good men and women to do nothing.”

In my nervousness for this speech and in my moments of doubt, I told myself firmly, “If not me, who? If not now, when?” If you have similar doubts when opportunities are presented to you, I hope those words will be helpful. Because the reality is that if we do nothing, it will take seventy-five years, or for me to be nearly 100, before women expect to be paid the same as men for the same work. 15.5 million girls will be married in the next 16 years as children. And at current rates, it won’t be until 2086 before all rural African girls can have a secondary education.

If you believe in equality, you might be one of those inadvertent feminists that I spoke of earlier, and for this, I applaud you. We are struggling for a uniting word, but the good news is, we have a uniting movement. It is called HeForShe. I invite you to step forward, to be seen and to ask yourself, “If not me, who? If not now, when?”

Thank you very, very much.