Tag Archives: People

For Kuya Guard

I get out of the house whenever I can. Being cooped up at home can drive someone crazy at times. My building security guard is always there to accommodate me and the rest of its tenants. He helps me with my bags, opens the gate (not that I need any of that, nor require him to carry or open anything for me).

Before I left the house to go for a walk, I struck a conversation with him. He was quite open and candid to my probing. He talked on and on for a good 10 minutes, given that he had such an eager listener.

He is a young father. At 25 years old, he now has a daughter with his 24 year old girlfriend. Elaine is now 1 and a half years old. “She’s already walking” he beams.

He mentions to me that he might only stay with our building till January 2014 only. I ask him why and he mentions the night shifts are taking a toll on his body. The lack of sleep gives him shakes. I have witnessed him actuallly sleeping on the job a couple of times before and most of the time, I don’t wake him anymore because I’ve also seen how hard he works. Being a security guard is a hazardous job in itself.

Since both are working, he tells me that he might send his little girl to live with his wife’s parents in the province because no one can take care of her here in Manila.

My building has had its share of revolving security guards, and this particular person I’ve always liked. He has always been helpful and respectful towards me, my family, and the rest of the tenants. He seemed competent, smart and most of all, he was a simple hardworking guy with simple needs.

His story just struck a chord in me. I felt sad for his circumstances. Deep in my heart, I wish I could help him: give him a job, a referral, whatever! But as it was (employment-wise) I was already in dire waters myself, but that’s another story.

He said that he has done construction and mechanic work , a bit of sales, repairs and other jobs that required physical labor.

I took a long hard look at myself. Who am I to complain? Things may not be perfect at work now but some people have it worse, much worse than me.

God bless his heart. He was willing to do all sorts of odd jobs (some even detrimental to his health and safety) just to put food on the table and care for his young family. My heart just ached. What can I do for this guy and his family? I want to help him somehow, but instead all I could do was buy him a burger 😦

Sometimes, I get so caught up in my own little world that I fail to notice the honest and hardworking people in my neighborhood. Regardless of background, everyone wants to enjoy the fruits of their labor but in this situation, what if there was not enough “paying” labor to go about?

Give a person fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.

People need more opportunities. I wish I could be that person, to give individuals like him, a dignified, decent and safe occupation wherein he could enjoy the company of his wife and daughter after a hard day’s work. But what can I do?

If you know anyone who maybe needing the services of an all around security guard, preferably with free housing where he could bring in his family, please let me know. Thank you.

The Other Face of Marital Rape

I just read over the news that Filipina actress Sunshine Cruz pressed charges against husband Cesar Montano for abuse, one of which is marital rape. I’ve also discovered that both are Christians.

Marital rape in a Christian home? I am beyond shocked.

Marital rape can happen in a variety of ways, some not even through physical force but through the twisted use of religion.

I’m sure you know where I am going at here.

You know what sickens me most? Using religion as a form of psychological control. There are so many stories of false teachers (cults, etc.), even lay people, who deliberately twist scripture to gain an advantage in whatever circumstance they have. They take scripture out of context to prey on trusting victims and con them off their money, sense of dignity, self-respect, you name it.

In the Book of Ephesians, there is this line that states “Wives submit to your husbands” (verse 22).

For the longest time, this line has bothered me. Scripture was supposed to protect both parties and not only cater to the male demographic. Some misinformed males jump right in on that verse and think that they can get away with anything at home.

For everybody’s information, and thanks to fellow blogger Dan Lacich, marriage is not so scary given that both man and woman are informed of the complete verse. Read and digest carefully, folks:

Wives and Husbands

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesian 5:21-33)

So, wives (and wives-to-be), let me tell you this: The man is to care and love your body as he is supposed to care and love his. You are to be “without stain, wrinkle, blemish, but holy and blameless”. There are no exceptions.

Once, I heard a Christian guy mention something as a joke: “Woman, submit!” (similar to that of a trainer who teaches his dog to sit, stay or play dead). Also, another married friend mentioned to me that she doesn’t say no to her husband because it’s “not allowed”. So she gives in even if she doesn’t feel like doing it.

Being misinformed or not really knowing what scripture says can be dangerous. The mere thought of it makes me want to throw up.

The thing with marriage is that everything is a gamble. You will never know what your potential spouse’s character is like unless both of you live under one roof.

So what is the gauge? Are there any red flags single women should be looking at to protect themselves?

Personally, temperament has been one for me. Find out how he gets angry. Ask yourself, is he domineering? Controlling? Test him. Push him once in a while and get a reaction from him. If you have to date him for years, do so! It’s best to be informed and knowledgeable of what you’re getting into than regret everything in the end.

Besides, don’t you think your life and future is worth the careful “choosing”?

Other than that tip, I’m all ears.

Recommended reads:
He uses RELIGION on you
Provocative Christian Verses: Wives Submit!
Marital Rape, a controversial issue

Strength in Weakness

The past few weeks have been a constant struggle for me.

My faith is continuously put to the test. My endurance and tenacity are both wearing thin. I have been loosing sleep and though I would want to keep a positive outlook on things, at times, I can’t help but ask why me?

I am trying the best I can. My heart is filled with anger, so much anger right now. I feel it consuming me again.

I am just glad that I am surrounded by my accountability partners to keep me guided, focused and directed. Their patience and love for me, I don’t know where they get it but I am thankful for them. They help keep my path straight.

It’s funny how things work out. When things get rough, there will always be someone either calling me, taking me out to dinner, letting me spend the night or have someone deliver a special package to my building (you all know who you are). They just pop out of the blue. It’s like they know for some reason, it’s incredible. I don’t know, probably God is there to tell me to hang on a bit, and I do.

In your weakest, that’s when He’s doing His greatest work.

I pray that He give me the strength and courage to soldier on. Help me run the race, Lord. I need you now more than ever.

The Men I Look Up To

There are some men we meet on the street not knowing they have extra ordinary stories to tell and lives to show. These men are people I find to be:

  1. Morally and spiritually upright
  2. Intrinsically kind and compassionate to others
  3. Have humble hearts
  4. Have the greatest respect for the sanctity of marriage and family
  5. Full of wisdom** and possess common sense

**note that instead of putting intelligent, I wrote wise. There is a big difference between the two but I will write about that in a later post. Moving on…

Personally, it is very rare for me to admire and look up to a man. Very rare.

If ever I do, the men that I do look up to have one thing in common: they are morally upright.

Their lives are great testimonies of such convictions.

A part of me yearns to be ‘just like them’.

They say that strong women look up to stronger women. However, it can also be that men can inspire a great deal in women to be better and stronger as well.  This is why men are called to be leaders of the family. Not in a domineering way as most Neanderthals conceive it to be, but moral leaders that women can admire and mimic.

A friend of mine and I were talking about the topic of efficient dating (also in another post). She mentioned that she would never date a man she didn’t look up to. I asked her, in what standard?

She mentioned strength of character. I made a quick assessment of myself: Do I have that kind of character to be worthy of such a person? Of such a man?

The simple answer was: I am still a work in progress. As a woman, I still have to develop my own character strengths to be worthy of him.

The best source for character development? The Holy Bible is a good place to start.

Amazing as it sounds but there is truth that everything else follows when a person is guided by scripture and prayer.

Never let a potential date convince you otherwise.

Thank you to our partners:
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What you find attractive defines you

Tell me what a person finds sexually attractive and I will tell you their entire philosophy of life. Show me the person they sleep with and I will tell you their valuation of themselves.

Ayn Rand